How to Calm the Homeschool Chaos Without Becoming a Dictator

When I think of a day gone awry, one comes instantly to my mind. I was pregnant with my fourth daughter, and my oldest three were only 5, 3, and 2. All at once there was a cacophony of noise, two children were arguing and crying, another was standing in a puddle in the bathroom, the phone was ringing, and someone was knocking on the door. I’m six months pregnant, standing in the middle of it all, not sure where to go first.

I don’t remember what I did. I think I ignored the phone and door, because I always ignore those things, dealt with the bathroom and calmed the children who were arguing. After that, I may have collapsed on the floor. I pretty sure there were tears and a call to my husband.

Such is life with small children.

Homeschool Chaos

As I sat down to write this post, I felt a little disingenuous. I’m not sure I’ve had many days that didn’t go awry. With six children, something is always happening. The only quiet, peaceful time I have is before they all get up, though some days are obviously harder than others.

For us, I think there are different levels of chaos. Some days, I complete most of what I wanted with each child and others I just can’t seem to ever find a groove.

So what do I do when the chaos reaches record levels, and it seems impossible to calm without becoming a dictator?

Go For a Drive

Going for a drive was a mainstay when my children were all little. At least on a ride, they were in their car seats and couldn’t cause too much chaos. I could roll down the windows, turn up the tunes, and grab a Starbucks, all from the comfort of my minivan.

I think it helped them to calm down, too. We all got a change of scenery and a few moments of relative peace.

Now that they’re older, when my introverted self just can’t take another request, I can get in the car and escape for a couple of minutes. A quick trip to the drug store can give me the breathing space I need.

Movie and Popcorn

When I need to get something done, or I just can’t take any more noise, a movie seems to be the best solution. We can all sit down together, or I can lay down for a few minutes to regroup.

When I was a younger mom, I had a much tighter rein on “screen time,” but I stress about it a lot less now and use it as a tool. Using the TV is my least favorite option, but I will if necessary.

Teatime

My kids love a teatime, it feels special, and they adore using their teacup. Even if the start of the day seems less than stellar, teatime with some poems or a read aloud can help me feel as if the day wasn’t a total failure.

Having tea with a 3-year-old has the potential to increase our chaos level, but coming together allows us to regroup and add connection to our day.

Get Outside

Getting outside helps us to have a change of scenery. The noise doesn’t reverberate off the walls, and they can run in something other than a circle. When the weather is beautiful, they even like for me to read aloud on the deck, which is a nice change of routine.

Combine this with going for a drive for maximum results.

Attitude

My attitude can have an enormous impact on salvaging a day that feels doomed from the start. It’s tough to remember at the time and equally hard to implement, but my attitude goes a long way towards everyone else’s demeanor.

When I’m short and exasperated, so are the kids. When I’m positive and happy, they are more likely to cooperate and be interested in something other than the TV or computer. It’s a massive weight at times, like the days when binge watching Netflix is more appealing, but a change in my attitude can have immediate positive results.

Acceptance

Accepting this messy homeschool life may be the most important way to recover a day gone awry. There was a time when getting off track would upset me so much I would just throw in the towel and call it a day. However, as our family has grown and changed, I realize that this just isn’t a sustainable course of action. Every day will have it’s moments where it feels as if it is going awry.

Whether it’s the pest control man showing up unexpectedly, the toddler not making it to the bathroom, or a scraped knee, there will be interruptions. I’ve had to accept those as a regular part of life and our homeschool day.

Interruptions have always been a big reason I’ve never been satisfied with a schedule that outlines my perfect homeschool day because for me there is no such thing. Every day, even every moment, is different.

Just accepting where we are each day can help me not feel as though I’m failing and turn the chaos to calm.

Well, maybe not calm but tolerable.

Be Flexible

This year we have a very long Monday at our homeschool co-op. I teach, and the kids are in class for five to six hours. It’s long, but I’ve finally realized that I need to be flexible and take Tuesday at a different pace to recover. So this week our Tuesday was completely different and entirely “off.”

The younger kids built toy cities while my 11-year-old and I played games as we waited for the teenagers to rise. We then made shaving cream and cornstarch play dough followed by lunch. The two younger girls and I then headed out to run a few errands. We didn’t do any reading or math until after 2 o’clock and didn’t finish reading aloud until 4:30.  A busy afternoon is utterly backward of how I would like my day to look, but it worked.

It’s Just One Day

Try to remember that it’s just one day, even one moment. Don’t expect perfection from yourself or your children, because you’ll always be disappointed.

There will be chaotic days when everything makes you want to run away, but you won’t. You’re a homeschool mom.

 

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