6 Homeschool Phases of the Overthinking Mom
Everyone comes to homeschooling at different times and for different reasons, because of this everyone will have various stages in their homeschooling life. I’m not saying these are true for everyone, but they have been true for me.
If they sound familiar to you, then maybe we’re on the same path, and you can learn from what I’ve thought and gone through the 10+ years I’ve been homeschooling.
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The Excited, Overeager Mom
I started thinking about homeschooling when my now 15-year-old was about six months old, so this has been an area I’ve thought about and researched for many years. From radical unschooling to classical education, I’ve read and considered them all. Fortunately, part of the reason I chose to homeschool was because I didn’t think young children needed to be dumped on the institutional, academic path at such young ages.
So when I hear overeager moms say they are homeschooling their 3 or 4-year-old, I cringe a little. Be patient; you have plenty of time. Your toddler needs to play, go to storytime, and feed the ducks. They will learn their colors, numbers, and letters by living an interesting life with you, not because you’ve created the latest preschool lapbook with them.
When you’ve decided to homeschool, you’re excited and eager to get started, but trust me, you and your child may reach a burnout period that much sooner if you rush to implement a curriculum.
The Rose Color of Your Glasses is Fading Mom
You’ve now been homeschooling for a few years and the Charlotte Mason vision of your children peacefully doing handicrafts while you all sing folksongs isn’t happening. Your rose colored glasses are starting to fade and your grasping at every homeschool method straw you can find.
This isn’t a bad time. It’s not the throw in the towel time. It’s the time to think about different methods and what is most important to you. It’s when you consider the children you have and not the ones you thought you would have.
The “Wow, This is Hard” Mom
Crunch time. Being home with your children all day is a lot harder than you thought! They’re getting older, and it’s not as easy to keep them occupied. Plus, if you’re like me, you’ve added another baby or two which adds another level of chaos to the day.
The big yellow bus rolling down the street starts to look a little more inviting, and you imagine what it would be like to have a clean house and to go to the bathroom by yourself.
Some days are good homeschooling days, but the laundry piles up and your husband is grabbing pizza on his way home. Other days everyone has a healthy meal and clean clothes, but you didn’t even think about math. You start to wonder how you can keep all the balls in the air.
The “What Was I Thinking!” Mom
This is the make-it or break-it point. I reached this point two summers ago when I was taking my kids to the pool. School had already started in my area and I was congratulating myself on how lucky my kids were to be going to the pool instead of school in August.
We pull up in the big van, I unload the baby, and everyone grabs a pool noodle. Then I receive a blow like never before. I see two moms leaving the pool to meet the school bus. They had been at the pool alone. Alone!
Every self-doubt flooded my being and I felt physically ill. What was I doing? What was I thinking? Why did I decide to homeschool six children!
Was this even going to be worth my struggle or would my children resent my efforts as adults? Why do other homeschool moms seem to have it all together and I’m falling apart?
It was a rough year.
The Long Game Mom
After the gut punch at the pool, I had a rough year of contemplating and just surviving. It’s hard to be a homeschool mom. Everyone questions you, you question yourself, and you have no idea how this crazy, unconventional life will turn out. It takes a lot of courage and faith.
I took that year to contemplate why I homeschool and the ultimate answer was freedom.
Freedom for not only my family but myself. We call the shots, we make the decisions, we can do this thing called life any way we want, and we do it together.
I’ve always been the long game homeschool mom, the words “take it year by year” have never left my mouth, but settling into this mindset has brought a certain peace.
Of course, if I had a child that wanted to attend school, I would consider it, but now I feel as though homeschooling isn’t something we do, it’s something we live.
The Confident Mom
Recently, I was at a homeschool gathering and two moms were talking about their very structured homeschool. Panic didn’t rise up in my stomach. I’ve reached the confident mom phase!
I don’t look at every shiny, new curriculum. I don’t compare my homeschool to another, especially when they are nothing like me, and I don’t always wonder if I’ve made the right decision.
Some homeschooling moms seem to appear to reach this phase much quicker than I did (though I sometimes think they might be hiding their crazy) but I see the benefit of the path I’ve taken.
May we all find the path that is right for our families and us.
Other Posts You May Enjoy
How I Cultivated a Homeschool Mindset
Homeschool Mindset: The Reading List
The Curriculum of Confidence; Homeschooling Outside the Check Box
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